The Forgeton Name

Haha, after a long while without blogging I somehow manage to remember my login ID and password.
I guess I am lucky somehow.
Recently, I just release from the "jail", haha, which mean I am enjoying my holiday, muahahahhaah. Unfortunately, after hearing a news, suddenly I got so down and not to mention, sad. I know that I shouldn't be sad and I should be mature enough to used to this kind of situation but duno why i still keep thinking about the matter. It's about a friend that had forgot me to invite me to a party while everyone was invited only me he left out. I feel dam dissapointed and after all the things that we gone through and I put in high hope that my friends are sincere to me and they will remember me but when I think deeply, they just REMEMBER me when I am useful to them. I felt very worthless in the sense that I am a person with only with a "used" but not in relation ship. I nearly cried out when I keep thinking of that. I'd been thinking "Am I too talkative", "Am I not sincere enough", or "Am I being so honest that somehow I hurt someone". But that is who I am, if I fake out myself that would not be me anymore, but they want me to become that "person" i would not mind at all. I just want to be remembered, as a friend I always remember them, but this is not the first time, there is few time they did not remember me, well, I think that I am not important anyway, beside, why should they invite me? I did not go out with them everytime they ask me to.......but some people have this kind of oppotunity even they did not hang out with them. But hang out with them = friend??? If that so, then we are not friends anymore? I was being too sensitive, I should not think so much. They have a bunch of friend to take care, it is normal for them to forget some people and i just one of the unlucky one. By the way, since they had show their "sincerity", then, I should show mine too.
But what make me angry the most is a friend called "Heng", I still remembered to help him edit video 2 times and he did thank me and treat me. Honestly, I did not help him for his thank and treat but friends. I see him as a friend so I help him. But when I think further is it worth? Is it worth to help him to do the video till midnight and forget about my sleep???? Is he take me as his friend?? Is really he see me as a friend, why he did not call me for "yamcha" but call me only when needed me..........Haiz, I started to feel the reality of the world. I did not feel that previously, but now, I duno. I hope that my perception of the world still remain.
After this incident I suddenly think of a word or something like a poetry,
Sorry for being sensitive but that is who I am,
I treasure sincerity more than reality,
I care people who I should care,
I judge people through their act,
I value inside more than the outside,
And even though I was not treated well,
I insist to live a happy life. :)


I know somehow I am sensitive so I hope that I will be forgiven
I hope people can be sincere to me instead of just using me
I only believe in what I see instead of hearing what other people say, rumors suck o0o
I think that people that those who have a good inner part is the one who I should be with
I don't think I had a miserable life but I do have obstacle that keep me going down
but nothing can stop me from having a happy life with my music!!!!!
Night~~~